Love in the Age of Algorithms

Falling in love can be a whirlwind, especially in the digital age. But mixed among the genuine lonely hearts are romance scammers who are out to steal both your heart AND your wallet. Don't let your search for love turn sour! With a little knowledge and caution, you can navigate the online dating world safely, protecting your emotions and your bank account.

The Deceptive Depths of Dating Apps

Romance scammers aren't just looking for more “likes”; they’re after lonely hearts seeking companionship. They create fake profiles and attempt to build trust with their victims by creating an emotional attachment. Once the relationship has been built up, the scammer will start asking for money, whether for an “emergency” or an “investment opportunity” that’s too good to pass up.

Unlike genuine relationships, these connections don't naturally grow over time. Scammers prey on isolation and loneliness, often offering friendship as much as a romantic relationship. A “romance scam” doesn’t require romantic promises to be a scam: anything that exploits the relationship for financial gain counts.

Cryptocurrency Cons

One of the investment opportunities scammers might suggest includes cryptocurrency. These scams lure people in with the promise of financial return. The scammer might even offer to split the initial investment to make it sound foolproof.

Pig Butchering Scams

The name of this scam comes from the idea of fattening up a pig before slaughtering it. In the same way, the scammer builds up the victim’s trust over a period of time before starting to ask for money for emergencies or even a plane ticket to come meet them in person. “Mail order bride” schemes and “online friendships” both take advantage of this method.

This type of scam is especially tricky because it preys on the victims’ desire to help or prevent pain for their “friend.” The best rule of thumb to avoid this type of scam is to never send money to someone you haven’t met. And even if you have met, be extra cautious if they suddenly ask you for money via wire transfer, gift card, or person-to-person payment app. These methods are the scammers’ calling card, because they’re difficult to trace or reverse. Once the money is gone, it’s very difficult to recover.

How to Spot a Fake Dating Profile

Scammers often initiate contact through a variety of channels, and their methods are constantly evolving, but fake dating profiles continue to be a very common method. If you’re on a dating site or app, watch out for these warning signs:

Unrealistic Photos

Do their pictures look too good to be true? If their images look professionally done or perhaps suspiciously perfect, use a reverse image search to check if they appear elsewhere on the web. Identical photos on multiple different profiles are a major red flag.

Generic Bios

Sparse profiles or ones that sound very similar—or even identical—to others you’ve seen is another flag. While some people hesitate to share too much online, there should be some individuality to their bios. A generic bio with an unrealistic photo should immediately tell you to keep looking elsewhere for love.

Video Chat Woes

“My webcam isn’t working.” “I’m too shy to video chat.” “My phone signal isn’t strong enough.” If your potential new friend has an endless supply of excuses for why they can’t video chat, it’s time to move along. This is a classic tactic for scammers to avoid discovery. 

Love Bombing

Is your new “friend” overly complimentary? Do they claim that you’ve changed their life, or made them believe in love again? You’ll want to watch out. Declarations of love or friendship that feel rushed or unearned are another warning sign for scams.

Information Fishing

While sharing personal details like hobbies or ambitions is a natural step in getting to know someone, you’ll want to be on the lookout for some red flags. It’s normal to come across people that share similar interests, but if they claim to be interested in all the exact same things you are, that’s a red flag. And if they start asking for financial information—how much you earn, what you have saved—it’s time to say good-bye for good!

A Broken Heart and an Empty Wallet: Real-Life Consequences

Romance scams leave scars on your heart, but also on your wallet. Victims may experience loneliness, shame, or mental health issues due to their experiences. And the financial damage can be devastating. Losses from romance scams have now reached over $1B per year, though that number is probably not the full amount. Due to the embarrassment many people feel when they find out they’ve been scammed, many losses go unreported—and the scammer is free to find a new victim.  

Stay Safe Online

But the internet isn't an inherently evil place, and many people have used it to find their current spouses. Used responsibly, the internet offers incredible opportunities for connection. Here's your action plan for safe online dating:

Trust Your Gut

If something feels off, don’t ignore it. Stay alert for anything that seems suspicious. When in doubt, get a second opinion from a friend or family member. A relative outsider can help you sort through what you’re feeling and offer guidance on the situation.

Guard Your Information

Never share financial details or personal information like social security numbers or passwords. This includes personal information like your address or phone number, along with more seemingly innocuous information like the names of your pets, children, or birth dates. This information is often used to safeguard your accounts, and scammers collect it to use it against you.

Keep it Public (At First)

If you’re on a dating site or social media messenger, continue using that method of communication until you’re sure you can trust the other person. Scammers will often try to move the conversation off-site as soon as possible to bypass the security measures built into the message systems. Don't give out your email or phone number until you are as certain as you can be that your new friend isn’t a fraud.

Verify Everything

Use reverse image search to check profile photos and research inconsistencies in any stories they try to tell you. Never accept unsolicited social media requests for friends or messages unless you know the person personally. It’s just not worth the risk.

Report and Block

If you come across something suspicious, report the profile to the app admins and block all communication.

What if you've been scammed?

If you think you’ve been scammed, report it to the app platform and your financial institution as soon as possible. You can also report it to the Federal Trade Commission (https://reportfraud.ftc.gov/).

Finding Love the Right Way

Genuine connections can be found online! Here are some tips for safe online dating:

  • Take Things Slow: Get to know someone virtually (through chatting and video) before meeting in person.
  • Meet in Public: Always choose public places for initial dates, and tell a friend where you’re going.

Don’t Let Love Turn into Loss

Meeting strangers online carries inherent risks, but so does meeting a stranger on a blind date. Many successful relationships have happened because of an online dating app: be cautious, not fearful. You can take steps to mitigate the risks, whether you’re dating online or in person.

Happily Ever After, Scam-Free

If you prioritize safety and trust your intuition, it’s possible to enjoy the online dating experience. Forewarned is forearmed, especially when it comes to scams. With the right tools and knowledge, you can navigate the realm of online dating with confidence and find the love story you deserve. 

Share this article with your friends and family to help raise awareness about romance scams! 

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